Mental = Physical

Is your physical health directly linked to your mental health? Are the external stresses we experience on a daily basis playing a major role in how we feel? Yes, I believe it does. I am speaking from my personal experience from this past weekend.

I was "on call" with my work last weekend. From Friday night at midnight until Sunday night at midnight, I was expected to be available for escalations and urgent issues related to my work. Once 12:00 am passed Friday night...into Saturday morning, I was non-stop working. There was no sleep for me (of any real note) until Sunday night. Not only was I sleep deprived, but the stress from the actual work I was doing was very high. At one point, Saturday late afternoon, I was actually yelling at one of my customers because they were frustrating me to no end. Not only did they not really require my help, the help they were asking for wasn't technically help they should have been receiving from me. If they took the time to read the material available to them, they could have easily accomplished their goal.

At that point, I knew I had reached the end of my mental "rope." I felt defeated knowing that I allowed myself to get to that point. All the skills I have learned about letting go and communicating from a place of love went right out the window because of my shear exhaustion. But it just wasn't my mental health that was so hurt, my physical well being was also damaged.

Sunday night when I was attempting to just walk from one room to another, my back went out completely. Totally incapacitated. I do have an existing issue was some disks, so I often have back pain, but this was much worse than the usual ache and stiffness.

I tried to do my usual stretches and relaxation, but it didn't seem to help. By Monday morning, I was bedridden. It's been a very difficult week trying to recover. I firmly believe that the stress and exhaustion from my "on call" weekend directly caused my back to go out. I've not only had to suffer from the back pain, but also the residual effects such as constipation and upset stomach. Thankfully my husband has done a great job with helping me and taking care of our family. He's had to miss work himself in order to care for me.

But he even has his limits. This morning, I was starting to feel better and more mobile, but after my husband snapped at my daughter Casey for something I asked her to do, I felt bad again. My mental state turned angry and resentful and my back pain got worse. Now I feel sad. I feel painted into a corner with no way to escape. This one of those dark times that I must allow and know that it won't last. Although I know this to be true, it is still difficult. I often wish I could turn off my sensitivity to what's happening around me....block the energy that other people send out. I haven't gotten there yet.

I do know that the first step to feeling better is to forgive. I forgive my employer for demanding I work extra hours and I forgive my husband for losing his temper. And I forgive whatever the cause of my back pain is....